- We all went to Grandma Judy's wake last night. It was so good to be with family, and to take part in this shared ritual of closure. Neither Rose nor Joy had ever encountered an open casket before. But Rose bravely went up to the front to "pay her respects" as we had discussed with her beforehand. Joy went up a little later in my arms. I think she might have been a little confused, as she reached out to Grandma Judy with an uncertain smile. I told her that it was time to say "bye-bye." She gave a small wave and an adorable spoken "bye-bye."
- Goodbyes are so hard.
- We had brought all sorts of tools and tricks to get the girls through the evening, from a portable DVD player & Baby Einstein to Rose's sketchpad and her little ZhuZhu-pet video game. But it was AuntieS who saved the day. She brought a brand-new travel set of the game Guess Who? that Rose could play with her cousin. For Joy, she brought one of those soft plastic bath-scrubby-poufs with a terry-cloth ducky in the middle. Once again AuntieS scored big, as she did with the curly-ribbons at Thanksgiving time. Joy spent the rest of the evening watching video and happily shredding the bath-pouf. Simply perfect.
- JoyDad will represent our little family today at the memorial service and burial. It didn't make sense to try to chivvy the girls through a day as long as this one will be. I'll be there in spirit, though.
- This all comes at the end of a long, hard week. It's been on my heart to join the amazing huge creative peaceful protests at the Capitol building, and re-fill myself with their hope and energy, but I've been unable for over a week. Schedule is part of it, and sickness even more. Both Rose and Joy were home from school most of the week fighting the flu, and I was trying to care for them and fight pneumonia myself. Thank heaven for antibiotics (for me), and for speedy recovery (for all of us.)
- The events of the day in Wisconsin continue to seep into most everything we do. When I went to the deli counter last weekend, wearing my "Save Medicaid" sticker on my coat, the guy at the counter asked "So, what can I get for you? [pause] Besides a new governor?" When I went to the doctor with my complaint of sleeping difficulty and on-rushing bronchial issues, he asked me whether there was a movement to recall this governor who has pushed forward this extreme agenda so very far in excess of anything he'd campaigned on. I left with prescriptions for the aforementioned antibiotics, a sleep aid, and the doctor's personal e-mail address -- promising to send him the website address where he could add his name to the pre-recall database at http://www.unitedwisconsin.com/. (In this state an official must hold office at least a year before a recall can take place; at that time, there is a 60-day window to collect sufficient signatures.)
- Healthcare workers and professionals are marching in support of Medicaid in Wisconsin today (Saturday), starting at 11am on campus at Library Mall. I wish I could join them, but I'm on childcare today. I'll be thinking of them, and looking forward to seeing pictures.
- I was on childcare last Saturday as well, while JoyDad and brothers were helping GrampaK get some things taken care of. Let me be clear, I am ever-so-willing to hold up my end and do what needs to be done! but last weekend it meant that I ended up forgoing the opportunity to be in this political ad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecsX7HxRork. I have not embedded the ad-video here because it is highly partisan, and frames the events in Wisconsin as a "war," terminology that I would personally prefer to avoid. But it's a powerful piece, and I would very much have liked to add my story and get a mention of Medicaid into the ad, something that did not happen in my absence.
- However, it's not as if I'm lacking a voice this week. I've had the opportunity to have some of my writing published on a national level (under my real name, so no link here, sorry!) And that feels good.
- After several weeks of high intensity, I do feel now that the initial frantic urgency of "Medicaid emergency and nobody even knows!" is receding. People do know now, and many other voices are being heard. It's time to take a deep breath, and move things to a level more manageable for the longer term.
- Right after I write just one more blogpost / Facebook status / protest letter...
Showing posts with label GrampaK. Show all posts
Showing posts with label GrampaK. Show all posts
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Random Thoughts
It hasn't been the kind of week that serves coherence. So, today on Elvis Sightings, a heaping helping of stream-of-consciousness.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Farewell Gifts
Joy's GoTalk communication device had a once-in-a-lifetime message on it for sharing time with her kindergarten class a week ago Thursday.
GrammaJ has survived so very much. She lost half a lung to lung cancer years ago, I think it was before Joy was even born. She battled back from a temporarily paralyzing stroke and walked again. She triumphed in a round with breast cancer. She adapted her lifestyle to diabetes and shed a lot of pesky pounds, learned to speak in a whisper after her vocal cords were damaged in surgery, slowed her pace to accommodate heart issues.
But this time is different. GrammaJ is in a hospice facility, and her remaining time with us is likely very short now. It happened suddenly. On January 2, she and GrampaK hosted the family at their home for our fourth Christmas of the season. A week later, she went into the hospital for some tests. A week and a half after that, she was on her way to hospice, with the news that the lung cancer had roared back overwhelmingly, untreatably.
GrammaJ is GrampaK's second wife, with the longer of the two marriages: they just celebrated their 20th anniversary this past year. They married just a couple of years before JoyDad and I started dating. They were in Wisconsin, we weren't -- so I didn't get to know either of them very well until we too moved to Wisconsin in 1998. Then we discovered her warm hospitality and sweet personality and fun-and-feisty sense of humor, and we grew to appreciate how well she and GrampaK were matched!
When we had kids, there was no question that she would be "Grandma" -- not step-grandma or some other nickname, but really-truly grandma. JoyDad's mother passed away before the girls came along; Joy had just turned one when we had to say goodbye to my mother. The girls' step-grandmas ARE their grandmas.
GrammaJ has been so flexible and loving with Joy's needs. She carefully Joy-proofed their home when we'd visit (an extensive task due to many knick-knacks and collectibles!), made sure to serve food the girls would eat, and brought the most delicious cakes for their birthdays. In fact, Rose had me make lemon cake for her birthday party this weekend, with GrammaJ's special super-lemony recipe.
GrammaJ's Elvis Collectibles
The chance to say a final goodbye is a difficult gift. Rose remembers the goodbye trip to Kansas when my mother was in her final hospice-weeks, so for her there's a familiarity to this. She has been processing this farewell quietly and somberly so far.
With Joy, I've had bouts of angst in the past about not being able to properly explain deep and momentous things, from the death of our bunny Phoebert to the birth of the Christ child. Somehow in this farewell, I'm not feeling that way. Not that I have a much better sense of what she does and doesn't understand. I don't. But somehow a few simple, straightforward sentences are enough this time. Maybe, put together with whatever she heard when her classmate's father died of cancer last fall, she is processing this on some deep level. Or maybe not, and these connections will come together another time. Either way, she is who she is, and it's going to be OK.
It was very important that our whole family get to be in on the visit to GrammaJ. We went mid-week, heading out directly after school. Rose had drawn a picture for GrammaJ, an early Valentine to hang on her wall. Joy had brought -- herself. And her giggles! GrammaJ was sitting up in bed, awake and happy to talk with us and exchange hugs. Joy entertained GrammaJ with a giggly sneezing-game, where Joy & partner exchange utterances of "ah... ahhh... ahhhh..." and then comes a joyful "CHOOOO!" GrammaJ shared her apple juice from dinner; we weren't sure what Joy would do, since she's been refusing apple & most other juices since last April. But Joy accepted the gift of apple juice with a smile, and drank almost the whole thing.
I so appreciated the chance to see GrammaJ, and give her a hug, and tell her what a magnificent grandma she is. And that I love her, and to share the message that I first told Rose during our last visit to my mother -- that a loving God is taking care of all of us, and will still be taking care of grandma, even when she's not with us any more.
We love you, GrammaJ.
Elvis - Can't Help Falling in Love
I said goodbye to my (GrammaJ) last night. We laughed together.
GrammaJ has survived so very much. She lost half a lung to lung cancer years ago, I think it was before Joy was even born. She battled back from a temporarily paralyzing stroke and walked again. She triumphed in a round with breast cancer. She adapted her lifestyle to diabetes and shed a lot of pesky pounds, learned to speak in a whisper after her vocal cords were damaged in surgery, slowed her pace to accommodate heart issues.
But this time is different. GrammaJ is in a hospice facility, and her remaining time with us is likely very short now. It happened suddenly. On January 2, she and GrampaK hosted the family at their home for our fourth Christmas of the season. A week later, she went into the hospital for some tests. A week and a half after that, she was on her way to hospice, with the news that the lung cancer had roared back overwhelmingly, untreatably.
GrammaJ is GrampaK's second wife, with the longer of the two marriages: they just celebrated their 20th anniversary this past year. They married just a couple of years before JoyDad and I started dating. They were in Wisconsin, we weren't -- so I didn't get to know either of them very well until we too moved to Wisconsin in 1998. Then we discovered her warm hospitality and sweet personality and fun-and-feisty sense of humor, and we grew to appreciate how well she and GrampaK were matched!
When we had kids, there was no question that she would be "Grandma" -- not step-grandma or some other nickname, but really-truly grandma. JoyDad's mother passed away before the girls came along; Joy had just turned one when we had to say goodbye to my mother. The girls' step-grandmas ARE their grandmas.
GrammaJ has been so flexible and loving with Joy's needs. She carefully Joy-proofed their home when we'd visit (an extensive task due to many knick-knacks and collectibles!), made sure to serve food the girls would eat, and brought the most delicious cakes for their birthdays. In fact, Rose had me make lemon cake for her birthday party this weekend, with GrammaJ's special super-lemony recipe.
The chance to say a final goodbye is a difficult gift. Rose remembers the goodbye trip to Kansas when my mother was in her final hospice-weeks, so for her there's a familiarity to this. She has been processing this farewell quietly and somberly so far.
With Joy, I've had bouts of angst in the past about not being able to properly explain deep and momentous things, from the death of our bunny Phoebert to the birth of the Christ child. Somehow in this farewell, I'm not feeling that way. Not that I have a much better sense of what she does and doesn't understand. I don't. But somehow a few simple, straightforward sentences are enough this time. Maybe, put together with whatever she heard when her classmate's father died of cancer last fall, she is processing this on some deep level. Or maybe not, and these connections will come together another time. Either way, she is who she is, and it's going to be OK.
It was very important that our whole family get to be in on the visit to GrammaJ. We went mid-week, heading out directly after school. Rose had drawn a picture for GrammaJ, an early Valentine to hang on her wall. Joy had brought -- herself. And her giggles! GrammaJ was sitting up in bed, awake and happy to talk with us and exchange hugs. Joy entertained GrammaJ with a giggly sneezing-game, where Joy & partner exchange utterances of "ah... ahhh... ahhhh..." and then comes a joyful "CHOOOO!" GrammaJ shared her apple juice from dinner; we weren't sure what Joy would do, since she's been refusing apple & most other juices since last April. But Joy accepted the gift of apple juice with a smile, and drank almost the whole thing.
I so appreciated the chance to see GrammaJ, and give her a hug, and tell her what a magnificent grandma she is. And that I love her, and to share the message that I first told Rose during our last visit to my mother -- that a loving God is taking care of all of us, and will still be taking care of grandma, even when she's not with us any more.
We love you, GrammaJ.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)