I made a comment on another blog this past week that has continued to rattle around in my head, and be applicable to other conversations I've had. It wants to be its own post. So here it is:
It is not given to any of us to MAKE our children be anything.
They are who they are.
All we can do is our best.
There's a beautiful song by Sweet Honey in the Rock that sets to music some of the words from Kahlil Gibran's poem "On Children" (from his book The Prophet.)
Here's a YouTube video of the song as performed by an unidentified young women's trio:
Here is the original text:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you...