Friday, December 18, 2009

Artifact from Another Era, Take 2

I mentioned a few posts ago that we had visited my mother's mother, my magnificent 100 year old grandmother, at Thanksgiving. It was an end-of-an-era kind of occasion, in that we helped with the packing to move from the retirement apartment, where she'd lived with my late grandfather for more than half my life, into a smaller assisted-living apartment.

Of course, when you make a move like that, there's lots of downsizing to be done. We helped with that too, sorting things to give away, things to discard, things to keep. In addition to the books and family photos that I knew were going to be coming home with us, we also provided a home for various keepsakes, usable kitchenware (we've already made jello from her cupboard in her casserole dish!) and other odds and ends.

Grandma has always been good at saving pretty paper things to use in making Valentines and decorations. We brought home several packets of long-saved paper doilies for art-projects at our place.

It wasn't until we got home that I got a peek at the back of one of those doily-packets. These weren't just ANY old paper doilies, let me tell you. No, these were Roylies. And they have astonishing super powers...

Roylie's Doilies win his heart
Here's the text, if you don't want to burn out your eyes looking too closely at the image on the screen:
Nothing wins a man more than feminine fastidiousness! Famous movie actors, writers, artists, bankers and bon vivants have oft said when interviewed that good grooming in a woman is far more important than good looks. And the pampered male is quite as particular about fastidiousness in his lady's habits as in her habit!

Next time your best beau (or your husband's boss, for that matter) comes to dinner, let lovely Roylies enhance your feminine graces. Slip a dainty Roylie under the cocktail glass or tomato bisque. Frame that layer cake you baked specially for the occasion in a large round Roylie. It will look twice as beautiful!

The most inaccessible bachelor in town is bound to melt under the appealing influence of feminine daintiness done in the Roylie manner. Roylies are such a help in so many ways, there's no reason why they shouldn't help you get your man!

Hey JoyDad? Sorry I didn't have the Roylies thing going on when we met. But you married me anyway. Next time your boss comes to dinner, though, and I've got my eye to climb the social ladder, I'll see how well these work... oh, right, she's female. Never mind.

8 comments:

therextras said...

Priceless! Thanks for a worthy chuckle!

Speaking of worth - if you have more than one package in good condition - consider pricing them on ebay. Retro and 50's stuff in good condition often goes for more than you would think - if you are not sentimentally attached. We have a few similar family 'heirlooms'. ;)
Barbara

JoyDad said...

What was I thinking when I fell for you, JoyMama? Although now that I think about it, none of the other women I dated had flashed their Roylies at me, either.

And I'm not going to comment on the word verification being "hosing..."

mama edge said...

Hilarious! Can't believe they wrote that without even a hint of sarcasm.

Of course, you know how I'd entice a man with Roylies, right?

Oh JoyMama, are you blushing?

blackknightsbrood said...

oh no, "Flashed their Roylies" is going to land some crazies here.

JoyMama said...

therextras - interesting thought... but these aren't in good enough condition to be saleable. Just good enough for some bloggy giggles.

JoyDad - I don't know. What were you thinking?!

mama edge - I'm not sure I want to know...

blackknightsbrood - I've never had anyone come to the site based on text in the comments. I think Google might not index them?

Anonymous said...

Well I'm just glad JoyMama snagged JoyDad even without the Roylies!

By the way a bit of nerd history: Roylies were made by the Standard Packaging Corp. They made a wide variety of household goods in both paper and plastic. They were a frequent advertiser in magazines such as Life. Their other ads show similar virtues for their other products, all stated in a matter of fact style.

Uncle Marathon

PS to JoyMama - Google does index the comments. If you Google Roylies, JoyDad's comment to you shows up.

JoyMama said...

Uncle Marathon - OK, tell me you didn't know all of that about Roylies without looking it up... and where DID you look it up?

Strange about the Google indexing. I see what you mean that searching "Roylies" finds my post and also highlights JoyDad's comment in the snippet. But, try searching "flashed their Roylies". Results: zero. Very odd.

KLo said...

In the words of Kelis, "My [Roylies] bring all the boys to the yard."