Splashes, Splashes

Five and a half years ago, Joy had a five-word-phrase in her repertoire for a brief span.  It was a line from Ring Around the Rosy:  "Ashes, ashes, all fall down!"

I went back to the archive of team-messages that I've been using for group communication for years, and there it was in the seventh message (we're up to #1551 by now):

I had to work very hard not to laugh the other day when she flung her cup, and then sang out her version of "Ashes, ashes, all fall down!"

I'd forgotten that incident, but remembered hearing the phrase on at least two additional occasions.  And then... Elvis left the building, the sliders on Joy's mixer board slid into a new position, and the phrase disappeared.

Fast forward to this weekend.

Joy came home from school on Friday with a new piece of artwork, this one containing both swirls and dots.   This one had been created to the tune of Ring Around the Rosy, a tune that Joy had suddenly begun to request that day.  We also learned that she'd been excited to work with LeapFrog phonics toys at school, which she'd connected with at home in a big way right around the end of 2011.  And the Brown Bear theme had continued at school as well, evidenced in a copy of Baby Bear, Baby Bear coming home with her for the weekend.

It rained most of the weekend.  Ordinarily this would be a bummer, but we've had a long string of parched weeks, so the rain was actually very welcome.  And guess who got to go out and make splashes and splashes, stomping in the puddles among the fallen leaves?

We played Ring Around the Rosy in the puddles, and Mama substituted a new line for the "ashes" line (that probably isn't a reference to the Black Death, though it's an oft-told myth):  Splashes, splashes, all fall down! Joy responded with many splashes and stomps and giggles, and helpfully refraining from actually falling down.

Then something seemed to catch her attention.  She looked, leaned to the side, took another looong look.

"Joy, what do you see?" asked Mama.

The response grew out of Brown Bear and our stomping-splashes, and just about took my breath away.

I see bird -- stomp, stomp, stomp!

Six words, gentle readers.  Six in a row, one more even than our long-lost Ring Around the Rosy line, in an original combination.

She was working other spoken-combos this weekend, too.  She says them slowly, with great emphasis, almost with a period after each word.

I. Want. iPad!

I. Want. Help!  

I. Want. Cracker!  

I. Want. Bread!  (This last was a request for the infamous zucchini bread)

I haven't heard a spoken request for a hug yet.  But you'd better believe she was receiving, this weekend.

And as for me, I am so greedy.

I. want. more.

But there were moments to be lived in, this weekend, and each one was a miracle unto itself.

Joy-Shaped

Quick, fun note to post this morning. I've discovered a new tool for making "word cloud" images from the words contained in documents: on a web site called Tagxedo. (They've got both a freebie version, which I used, and a paid product.) Here's what came out when I put in recent posts on the Elvis Sightings blog, and chose a particularly appropriate template:

I like the idea of using the principle of "joy" to shape my words!

Appreciating Miracles

It was just this April when I posted about how Joy came busting out with the word "more" (mo!) at snacktime for JoyDad. What a miracle that was!

And how quickly we come to take things for granted.

Earlier this week I was talking on the phone with another mama in the autism community, whom -- what with one thing and another -- I haven't seen since the fall, though we've been in touch by phone. As it happened, I was serving Joy her snack while we were chatting. Joy finished the first small portion of animal crackers, and loudly requested "mo!" Per routine, I asked her "more what?" And she told me loud and clear, "CAH-cuh!"

My friend gasped. Then she said, "Oh, she has such a beautiful voice!" And then said, "I think I'm going to cry!"

Sometimes it takes a reminder to re-appreciate the miracles.

The NEW Funniest Thing in the World

Forget being entertained by the sprinkling of parmesan cheese. That is so, like, last month.

No, if you want real funny, you have to say, "Ta-DAHHHH!" as if you were producing a rabbit out of a hat.

Then your play-partner has to announce "Ta-DAHHHH!" right back.

And then you both giggle like the dickens, and then do it all over again.

"Ta-DAHHHH!"

The Power of Words

As I think I've mentioned before (and you may have noticed!), I love to play with words. There are so many of them, and they're flexible and resilient at the same time, and the possibilities for interesting combinations are practically endless!

They also wield incredible power.

In 1987, Mayer Shevin wrote the following poem, called "The Language of Us and Them," reflecting on how people without disabilities speak about themselves and about people with disabilities.

We like things.
      They fixate on objects.
We try to make friends.
      They display attention-seeking behaviors.
We take a break.
      They display off-task behavior.
We stand up for ourselves.
      They are non-compliant.
We have hobbies.
      They self-stim.
We choose our friends wisely.
      They display poor peer socialization.
We persevere.
      They perseverate.
We love people.
      They have dependencies on people.
We go for walks.
      They run away.
We insist.
      They tantrum.
We change our minds.
      They are disoriented and have short attention spans.
We are talented.
      They have splinter skills.
We are human.
      They are.......?

You can read about the heartbreaking inspiration for this poem on the Autism Society of Middle Tennessee's web site.

While the poem wasn't originally about autism, it fits strikingly well with how "we" define "them" when it comes to the autism spectrum. I first heard these words in the autism context back in March, at the start of Paula Kluth's workshop at the Autism Society of Wisconsin (ASW) conference. When I walked in a little late, there was a video playing on the big screen, in which the words of the poem were being presented in the context of autism, with music and images and additional text. At the time I didn't even catch the name of the DVD, but I later learned that it was called "The Power of Words: How We Talk About People With Autism Spectrum Disorders Matters!" The creator is Judy Endow, MSW, autism consultant and self-advocate.

It was just announced on the ASW online mailing list that the video has been selected to receive the 2010 Autism Society Media Excellence award, to be presented at the July national conference of the Autism Society of America in Dallas. Congratulations to Judy! (Though there'd be no reason for her to remember me, I've heard her speak and met her briefly. Her words have taught me much -- and made me think.)

The DVD is sold online at the Autism Aspergers Publishing Company.

Here's one more text-excerpt from "The Power of Words" taken from the publishing company web site above:

One time I started making a turkey sandwich.
Then I remembered
I had a banana that needed to be used up.

So I decided to make
a peanut butter and banana sandwich
instead.

The group home worker
looked at the new person
she was training and said,

“Judy must have forgotten
that she wanted a turkey sandwich.
They have short attention spans, you know.”

Do you recognize this kind of language, in your own speech (guilty here, probably more often than I know) or being used by others to describe your child or being used to describe you?

I love words. We're all responsible for being aware of their power, and using them in ways that em-power.

Unexpected, Times Four

More so than usual, we're having to expect the unexpected around here.

Last night we had FOUR verbal "unexpecteds" from Joy, just between supper and bed.

First was during the meal, when I was coaxing her to eat some sweet red pepper. "Peh-puh!" she imitated me, unasked. And then gave a great big grin, apparently loving the way the word felt, exploding through her lips. Lots of "peh-puh"s and giggles for the rest of the meal, and ate the whole helping!

Then a little ways into her evening therapy session, she led her barista-dude over to the gate by the basement stairs and signed "open". "Oh, do you want to go downstairs?" he asked. I don't know as how I can properly represent the version of "downstairs" that she echoed, but it was definitely an unsolicited imitation.

Then after the session was over and she & I were hanging out on the living room couch, she reached for the buttons on the fleece cardigan that I wear around the house. She's fascinated with those buttons, but had never named them for me. I said nothing, she said "buh-buh"!

And last but not least, we had a spectacular unexpected while getting ready for the bath. Joy has been on an anti-potty kick lately, preferring to throw herself to the ground or anything else but sitting on the seat -- and here we'd been planning a big potty-training push over the summer. So I did a little experiment. Brought in a candy treat, and when she threw herself to the floor I caught her eyes and told her, "First potty, then candy." And she let herself be led to the toilet to sit. Then I told her, "We'll count to ten!" And I counted out slowly, "One, two, three..." and when I hit "nine," she finished up for me with a great big "TEH!"

This is even more amazing in that we almost NEVER count all the way to ten with her. Most often we'll go to three, in a one-two-three-GO context.

What else does Joy know, that I don't know she knows? (Or should I say, what Elvis does she know?)

More Things To Say

It is hard to believe that it's been three weeks since my Some Things to Say post.

It is hard to believe that it's ONLY been three weeks since my Some Things to Say post.

In a nutshell: it wasn't all just-for-that-day.

Joy's speech and all-around developmental burst has continued at an awesome pace. There is literally something new every single day. To put this into perspective, we've had stretches where if there were even one of these new things in two weeks' time, we'd have been over the moon with delight.

Joy is now vocalizing regularly with her signs (more, open, all-done).

She is chiming in at the end of each line of familiar songs if we pause and leave off the last word, including a long-awaited return of the bed-time lullaby chime-ins.

She is waving and speaking both for greeting ("hi!") and farewell ("buh-bye!")

She is imitating familiar words, particularly when prompted.

"Joy, can you say 'coffee'?" (We have a tradition in the grocery that she gets to smell the open bag of bulk coffee beans.)
"FEE-fee!"

"Joy, tell me 'gold-fish'!" (Goldfish crackers at snack).
"Fee-fsh!"

"Want some music?" (Baby Einstein soundtrack on CD).
"muh-ick!"

Besides the songs she chimed in on, here are -- surely just some -- of the words she attempted yesterday, either in imitation (often prompted) or initiation.

Coffee, goldfish, music, candy, kiss, pear, chip, go, open, bye-bye, ball, more, drink, juice, lion, cracker.

Happy, happy Mother's Day!

Some Things To Say

On Monday I mentioned that we've been hearing many vocalizations from Joy. I thought you might like to hear about some of the things she's had to say lately.

JoyDad told me about an interaction at snacktime earlier this week. Joy was drinking juice (from an open cup, yeah!) using both hands to lift the cup. JoyDad was doling out the pretzel sticks a few at a time. At one point he offered sticks while she had the cup in the air with both hands. "Joy, do you want more?" He said you could just see the wheels turning as she thought about making the "more" sign but realized both hands were already occupied. And then she looked right at him and spoke.

Mo!

Another lovely vocalization that has come and gone over the years has been "ma-ma". Last time I posted about it was about a year ago. Well, it's back, and it's the two-syllable word, not even the babbly "ma-ma-ma" that was coming out last time. At least for today, even if it's just for today, we're getting "ma-ma"!

By the way, that "just for today" post I just linked to? It focused on the signing of the word "more" -- which was an occasional, some-time thing back in February 09. These days, it's the most solid sign in her repertoire, over-generalized to mean "I want" as well as "more." How very far she has come!

Then there was the imitation last night, when our church fellowship group met for a cookout. Joy was exploring and rolling around in the lovely large yard, I was talking to a couple of other moms, and Rose was playing with a group of older kids halfway across the yard. Suddenly from one of the older boys in the faraway group comes an audible, "Aw, CRAP!" And what do we hear from Joy? A sweet little echo, "caa"! That was the one and only thing she chose to imitate from the other kids all evening.

And finally last night, late home from the cookout and getting ready for bed. Joy sat on the toilet a little bit, without success, and then after bath we went to her room to get her into diapers and jammies. As I was assembling the materials, she loudly announced,

Kee!

What in the world was "kee," I wondered, looking around. It was a new sound, an unfamiliar vocalization. I couldn't find anything to attach it to.

And then she "kee"-ed all over the carpet. Must have been holding it in for a while, it was a major stream.

Oh, yes. This girl's got things to tell us.